Piracy is Bad; Defacing Cinema Classics is Worse

I'm sure most people have already seen this, but here we go:





I'm pretty sure this disgrace is at least two years old, but I saw it only for the first time just last night. I had finally picked up "The Dark Knight" and was preparing to enjoy the movie everyone has been raving about for so long. Lucky me, I got a double feature: The Dark Knight and the annihilation of Casablanca.

Piracy and copyright warnings piss me off enough for the sole reason that they treat everyone like a criminal. I'm not condoning or condemning piracy, because that's really not the point. It's insulting enough that, because everyone is a potential criminal, Big Brother has security cameras in every store and piracy warnings in every movie(I'm not even going to go into how insane it is to think that one of these absurd piracy warnings is going to deter someone from pirating DVDs.), but they took it a step further and taint one of the most beautiful movies ever made.

I know I said I wasn't going to condone or condemn piracy, but Casablanca is such an amazing movie, I sure hope there are people pirating it and giving it to their friends. Hell, even if you're selling it, I'm still okay with that as long as you're not overcharging for it. In that case, you're a dick.

I'd much rather there be accessible, pirated copies of Casablanca floating around for everyone to enjoy than see one of the greatest movies ever, and probably the best romance ever, reduced to nothing but one of many shameless illusions we perpetuate in attempt to correct society. This may seem overblown, but I don't think I'll ever be able to watch that scene of Casablanca the same way again. Thank you for making me hate one of my favorite movies, Warner Bros..

At least Dark Knight wound up being good.

FFXIV VS. WoW: Clash of the Titans

There are tons of new FFXIV videos showcasing graphics, combat, and quests. I guess no one is taking the NDA too seriously.

I was planning on trying Cataclysm while I waited for FFXIV(seeing as I'm just a lowly PS3 player), but the more I learn about FFXIV, the more apathetic I get about Cataclysm. Maybe it's because I've always felt more connected to Final Fantasy lore than Warcraft lore. Maybe it's because Blizzard withholds so much information about their products that it's hard to get excited about something I know so little about. Then again, maybe it's because DC Universe Online is being released on November 2, and I'm thinking of making that my new "waiting for FFXIV MMORPG." Seriously, I think there's even less known about DC Universe Online than Cataclysm, but SOE still managed to give a release date. Throw me a bone, Blizzard.

More likely, it's because I'm just so sick of the WoW phenomenon. I'm sick of it being everywhere; I'm sick of how everyone flocks to it like sheep; I'm sick of Mr. T. WoW has made me hate Mr. T. That's an unholy sin.

I have nothing against the game itself. The community is a cesspool of human excrement, but the game itself is uncomplicated, addictive fun accompanied by a decent narrative. Yes, it's very streamlined. What isn't these days? Even FFXIV is getting this treatment. The difference is that FFXIV looks like it will keep that feeling of grand adventure thanks to it pushing the graphics envelop and naturally coaxing the community to pull together to overcome obstacles with its more cooperative gameplay rather than pitting everyone against each other over Chuck Norris jokes(Again, not WoW's fault, the community's).

And now, the real reason I put "Clash of the Titans" in the title of this post: to tear down the bull shit movie of the same name that claims to be a remake of the 1981 classic.

Besides this movie not being able to hold a candle to the old "Clash of the Titans," it barely has any legs to stand on as its own movie, let alone defend itself for all its discrepancies.

The acting is flat and the characters themselves are completely uninteresting. They are introduced in a way that makes them seem like they'll be significant and are either killed off ten minutes later or left hanging with no development. This eventually leads to one of the most trite Hollywood love plots ever seen in a movie.

The editing is an absolute nightmare, making violent cuts that constantly throw the characters in a new location. It doesn't even feel like the characters are traveling.

Evidently, parts of this movie were filmed in Wales and Spain. For what purpose? There's hardly any scenery in this movie; the characters just “teleport” to a new location. Cut, scene change, boom, we're there. The few nice images are computer generated. This movie could have been shot in a closet that had a green screen.

Honestly, I could have forgiven the bland characters and story and all the changes they made to them. I went into this movie just expecting to have some fun with crazy fight scenes and adventure that take advantage of good CGI, and it doesn't even do that.

All I wanted was a basic summer-action flick, but the fight scenes are few and aren't even impressive compared to what I was expecting. This movie is nothing but a clip show of scenes from the original "Clash of the Titans" replaced with bad actors, CGI, and a forced, anti-climatic ending. Aside from the Kraken, the only impressive thing in the movie, everything is a soulless copy of its former self.

You Can't Do That On TV

While brushing up on the latest news at ZAM I found this.

It's part of the ESRB's rating description for FFXIV. The rest can be found here.

Evidently, FFXIV will have bleeding monsters(in cut-scenes), strong language(H-E-double toothpicks), suggestive themes(that's what she said), and, ESRB's words not mine, "Some female characters are depicted from low camera angles, with lingering camera views of their buttocks (i.e., up-skirt shots)."

Buttocks!? You can't use that word on the internet! You should know better, ESRB.

Anyway, I'm more interested in the "suggestive references" the ESRB quoted from the game: The netmaster's probably up in his office polishing the mast just thinking about her, stick yer manhood in the forge, and you cheating little whore! Some people are calling this "edgy." I don't know about that. It just reminds me of the playfulness Final Fantasy used to have before every game was about some brooding, zazzed-up she-male who just needs to be loved, or get his memory back, or learn why he exists, blah, blah, blah.

I miss the days of the porno mag and developer's room of FFIV and Galuf's comically failing memory and the characters finding out Farris was a girl in FFV. I hope FFXIV gives us more of those kinds of moments.

Owner of a Lonely Heart

Some new videos have popped up on the FFXIV channel. The one linked is a video about the motion capture and creation of the five races. I was hoping for a more in-depth look at character creation, but it was not meant to be. From what was said in the video, it seems like character customization will be ridiculous. They mention being able to change nose size, add moles, tweeze eyebrows, shave chest hair... What? It's in the video. See for yourself.

Now I'm all for customization, (especially since FFXI has, you know, none), but now we've gone to the completely opposite extreme. I mean, it's not like it's hurting anybody. It isn't as though they're forcing people to create incredibly detailed characters. I just wonder who is actually going to spend several hours adjusting the density of his character's nose hairs(probably more than I think).

They also mention that, at present, there are sixty different emotes in FFXIV... Wow. For someone like me, whose emotional spectrum merely covers "angry" and "not angry," that's a superfluous amount of emotion. One of the Lalafell looked like he was doing the chicken dance. I didn't even know that was an emotion.

But enough of FFXIV, I'd like to get real for a second. For the first time since I resubscribed to EGM after their long hiatus, I checked out their online magazine counterpart. Since the current generation of humans doesn't read and prefers to laugh and clap their hands at cutesy videos, EGM needed to give their subscribers something that could let them pretend they were watching Youtube videos instead of reading.

I am more than happy to simply have the print edition of EGM back, and have always shunned online newspapers and magazines. But today I said, "what the hell," and checked out the online magazine.

Honestly, it's pretty cool as far as online publications go. Unfortunately, it stills suffers from the same flaws as many other publications: overstimulation and nightmarish menu navigation.

Though to be fair, EGM online has one of the better organization of menus I've seen, and I could have lived with that if it were the only nuisance.

As I "opened" the "magazine" to "read" it, I was greeted with a video that automatically started playing. I skipped it, but I found it wasn't the only one. The magazine was full of videos, animations, and scrolling text. "I suppose this is a natural evolution," I said to myself. "In print, everything is still. Onine, everything is in motion." I chuckled snobbishly at their frivolous attempt to ammuse me with moving pictures and kept reading (if what I was doing could be called "reading").

It was then I noticed something. I was having trouble reading, and it wasn't just because I was squinting at small computer text on a reflective white background. There was music playing.

"Hm, what a strange place for music," I thought. "It's not like they have music in libraries and--oh, wait, yes they do. Libraries and book stores do stock CDs... And movies... And video games... What the fuck is wrong with this world?"

Just about every page of this magazine has music and sound effects. I love music, but... Come on, guys. I'm trying to read. I don't watch a movie, listen to a record, and read a book all at the same time. When I'm reading, I want to read. Anything else is just distracting.

Most of these intrusive little features can be turned off, skipped, or circumvented in some way. After that, what am I left with? It's now the same magazine I have in print form. Okay, that's not entirely true. If you have premium membership (which I do) the online publication has more info than the print, and I guess that's the real point of the online mag.

So why am I complaining about the online magazine? I have the print form, and I can turn off the distracting features of the online mag if I really want to read it. Well, I'm not complaining about the magazine itself. As I said, it's one of the more organized online publications I've read and the videos and music, while intrusive, are pretty cool. I just can't believe this is where we're heading, not only as gamers, but also as people. Are we really at the point when our culture-induced ADD is so strong we need all of this overstimulation while reading?

Maybe I'm wrong, though. Maybe it's not that we're so technology dependent that we've all but forgotten what a book is. Maybe it's just that gamers prefer to get their information from inaccurate, unimaginative wikis rather than from credible publications.

The World is a Vampire

Wow, long time. Last time I posted was Christmas, huh? Well, with so many other blogs, websites, and wikis covering FFXIV, I was growing bored with merely keeping up with the trickle of information that was coming in. Also, my desktop of eight years finally crapped out on me. I type you this message from my new laptop. I never thought I'd become a massive tool and buy one of these things, yet here I am.

Anyway, with the official website now full of information, many new videos circulating, the beta underway, and the release date(for the PC version) announced, I actually feel out of the loop now. People are talking about the classes, playing the beta, complaining about how the PS3 version won't be released for another six months after the PC version. Seriously, folks, it's never fun when you find out a game you really want to play isn't coming out for a long time, and I know SE were real douches hyping up the PS3 version and saying it would be a simultaneous release with the PC version, but life goes on. As someone who was planning on playing the PS3 version, I'm bummed, too, but there will be other games between now and FFXIV:

Ahem, among other things, of course. To be perfectly blunt, I am in the camp of people who think SE's rather sudden announcement of the PC version release is an attempt to compete for shelf space with Cataclysm. SE has acknowledged World of Warcraft's success and have been saying that Final Fantasy XIV will be competition for WoW. It makes sense; I just have a feeling the PC version is being rushed and will be extremely lacking at first(you know, like Wings of the Goddess was) and I will be glad I waited the extra time to play the PS3 version when it's more of a complete game.

Or in an ironic twist, the game will rock right out of the box, and I will be left whimpering like a puppy and wishing I'd shelled out the extra 200 bucks for a better graphics card for this laptop so I could play it. Maybe then I wouldn't have spilled a glass a water on this thing a mere month after buying it and had to pay 160 dollars to repair it, thus losing the very 200 dollars I wished to save. Yeah, my cup runneth over(Hey, that was a good one.).

Patience is not something I'm normally good with, but with the extra FFXI content, Cataclysm on the way(hopefully), Trauma Team still left to be "XS'd", Rock Band 3 and Fallout: New Vegas coming out this fall, and a Mortal Kombat remake on the horizon, I won't be bored. That's not to mention my backlog, but hey, I should be talking about FFXIV, right?

This game continues to astound me graphically. I know I've been saying this from the beginning, but graphics are not something I usually geek out over. FFXIV is the most visually impressive game I've seen. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. If Final Fantasy is nothing else, it's good looking.

As a non-beta player, it's still hard for me to formulate an opinion on gameplay. All I have to go on are videos and the vague testimonials of the beta players. Combat sounds like a good time, but I haven't heard anything mind blowing. What I've been hoping for with all the emphasis that's being put on the four disciplines is that every job has something to contribute to the fight.

If you look at the official site, you'll see Blacksmith and Miner have the ability to weaken certain types of enemies. I looked through the other classes in the Disciplines of "Land" and "Hand" but didn't see anything similar for them. It may just be that it's too early to post everything about the classes.

It'd be nice if even the crafting classes could at least play a support role in parties. One of the things that always irritated me about FFXI was how out-of-the-way crafting felt. Having to stop to fish to make gil felt like I was putting the really fun things on hold to go play a lame mini-game. Hopefully, the crafting jobs in FFXIV will make me feel more involved in the "main game." How about a Miner weakening an enemies' defense with his pick axe? Why not a Culinarian on the sidelines keeping the other party members fed? Whatever. Anything. Just don't make me feel like I'm taking a time out to go craft.

So far, I've not heard anything of this sort. Seems like combat is still combat and crafting is still crafting. It's just a hell of a lot more convenient since you can switch among the four disciplines on the fly. I guess I'll have to wait for more information to surface. I'm sure everyone is too busy playing the game to write anything about it. I should be so lucky... Damn you, PC gamers!

His real name is "Arty Mori"

So I went to see "Sherlock Holmes" today because I couldn't pass up the chance to see one of the most iconic characters in literature portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., one of my favorite actors. Also, I'm lonely and have nothing else to do on Christmas.

I'll just come out and say straight away that the experience was underwhelming. It's not a bad movie, by any means, but it wasn't really Sherlock Holmes. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law play interesting conceptions of Holmes and Watson, respectively. However, this movie is not a mystery; it's an action flick.

Right from the start the movie is more fast-paced and acrobatic than any previous incarnations seen of Sherlock Holmes in movies or books. Holmes has always been a multi-faceted individual, but in this movie he's practically Batman, while Watson plays a very capable Boy Wonder.

I know Holmes is a master of deductive reasoning, but the previous movies, as well as the books, always had some sort of methodical progression. They showed Holmes actually being a detective. In "Sherlock Holmes," everything is solved through a few forensic television show zoom-ins and then explained afterwards in one breath by Holmes. A couple of times Holmes has these flashback montages of previous scenes in the movie. I'm guessing this is the movies' way of showing Holmes "figuring out" the pieces of the mystery.

As I said, it's all an attempt to make the movie more actiony(yes, I'm going with "actiony."), and it works. It's a decent action flick with some colorful characters and the always entertaining Robert Downey Jr.. If you like action movies, you'll probably like it. If you're a ferocious Sherlock Holmes purist, perhaps you won't.


Dammit, "action-oriented," why didn't I say that?

Not all that Glitters is Gold

Hey! Do you guys remember this thing from FFXI?

Yeah, me neither until this reminded me of it. It's the Tidal Talisman; a modestly useful teleportation necklace that took up yet another space in your inventory for the payoff of being able to teleport between major cities every 40 hours.

I didn't buy it either, but if you're one of the few who did, you know that in addition to the lackluster ingame benefits, you also received a real-life version of the item. I guess so you could cosplay as your avatar. Surely, you wouldn't wear such a thing during everyday events, would you..? WOULD YOU?

SE Company President Yoichi Wada has revealed that we'll be seeing much more micro-transaction items in FFXIV than we did in FFXI. He said, “we soon learnt that there are a lot of people who want that kind of model, so we would like to introduce more pay-as-you-use items into the game."

Excuse me? Where was I when this survey was taken? I'm going to have my people call your people, SE; I've never heard any positive remarks about micro-transaction from the FFXI crowd. I know there are people who like collecting the real-life items, and that's cool and stuff, but I hope the items they make available in FFXIV aren't necessities, not while they're making us pay a monthly fee, anyway.

In other and completely related news, the official site has been updated with several interesting features, not the least of which being Beta signups for PC. I'll be waiting for the PS3 Beta, myself, but if you're computer has the digital balls to run FFXIV, go for it.

The backstory has also been fleshed out:

And then... war were declared... What? They take card games seriously in Japan. That Galka, I mean Roegadyn, lost his Bahamut Zero card in that duel. I'd be pissed, too.

Well, there is a war. During a huge battle, the adventurers(you, me, and everyone we know) come in contact with the "Echo"(the plot), which gives them the power to relive their past experiences. The "Echo" is the major story of FFXIV which will over-arch the many other sub-plots and side-stories in the game. I know it sounds kind of lame when I say it, but check out the site. They say it in that cool Lord of the Rings prose that makes everything sound like an adventure. "Go forth and wash thy car" and all that.

It's News to me

I'm not sure how I'm only hearing about this now, but it's news to me. Electronic Gaming Monthly Magazine is making a comeback. Evidently, this announcement was made back in May. So how did I only hear about it two days ago at The Escapist?

I did a little digging and found that there really isn't much information on this topic... Why the hell not? This is EGM; people were DEVASTATED when publication stopped last January, myself included. Now they're coming back? This is HUGE. EGM was a monolith of iconography in video game magazines. People should be throwing fliers out of airplanes about this.

Well, I'll be buying forty subscriptions once the magazine becomes available again. Now let's talk about a game called Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble. If you own a PSP, you need this game. Hurry up, because it's another Atlus title. As I mentioned once before, Atlus games disappear fast. This isn't the kind of game to which you say, "I'll pick it up in six months when the price goes down." Bad idea. Atlus games typically go up in value because they're only made in limited quantity. Chances are you'll be paying more if you wait.

Kenka Bancho is a tongue-in-cheek, beat-em-up game with a straight-forward plot and addictive gameplay that's deeper than it appears. Few portable games satisfy the criteria of being both engaging and easy to put down once the eight hour car ride, wedding toast, or eulogy ends.

You play a local highschool badass on a class trip to Kyouto. It just so happens forty-seven other badasses from forty-seven other school districts are on the same class trip. You have seven days to... well, do pretty much whatever the hell you want. On my first playthrough, I thought the objective was to simply track down and beat up the other banchos, but that's just one thing you can do. There are different events to unlock, secrets to find, even romances to pursue(if you're a pansy). Plus, there's "Night Out," a co-op mode where you can do special missions with your bancho buddies.

Kenka Bancho doesn't exactly break new ground. The game is pretty simplistic, sometimes too much so. I mean, it's a beat-em-up; it shouldn't be complicated, but I wish combat wasn't so monotonous at times. If you're looking to beat every bancho, you need to collect itinerary. You do that by beating up other tough guys... A LOT. Busting skulls is fun, but if you're looking for someone's specific itinerary and you keep getting the same one, it can get stale. As you level up you learn new fighting moves, most of which are only marginally better than others. It seems the purpose of changing your fighting style is mostly cosmetic, which is a bit gimmicky.

The one truly irritating part of this game is the travel system. You can walk, take the train, catch a bus, or call yourself a taxi("I'm a taxi!" That's one of the game's jokes not mine.), all of which will bring you to different destinations. For whatever reason, the only way you can view the map of Kyouto, and thus figure out where to go and which form of transportation you should use, is to actually board a bus, train, or taxi. Now there are several aspects of this game that are kept "secret," but they're nothing that's going to hinder your progress. There is no right or wrong way to play this game, and finding out all of the possibilities is part of the fun. However, "map" is not something that should be kept mysterious. Time is precious in this game, and wasting it trying to physically find a place to view a map is just needless frustration. So I, personally, wound up drawing my own. Yeah, I'm that badass.

Kenka Bancho is a paradox. It's simple, yet complex; parody, but sincere, and at times it's just downright strange. It's a game made by tough guys, for tough guys. Check it out.

Merry Christmas; Jesus Hates You

There hasn't been much to report, but now we've got a new trailer for FFXIV. It's pretty and all but doesn't explain the details we'd all like to know. However, there's a lot of new info at Eorzeapedia that was compiled from an interview GAME Watch conducted with Hiromichi Tanaka and Nobuaki Komoto.

A minor detail that, personally, struck me was that every starting nation will have it's own prologue. The ship arriving in the trailer above is the prologue for characters who start in Limsa Lominsa. It's a nice extra touch considering how unceramoniously you arrived in Vana'diel no matter what nation you picked.

The above commentary would have made a bit more sense about three months ago. It was part of an entry I meant to post way back when the above trailer was first released. For whatever reason, I saved part of it and just never came back to finish it.

Luckily, everything I said is still true. There hasn't been much to report. It's the reason I've been neglecting to update this thing. I got tired of making sarcastic comments to myself about the miniscule news leaks we've been getting from SE... I'm just kidding; I never get tired of being a sarcastic jerk. I've just been playing a lot of video games and haven't really felt like doing much else. Plus, it's the holidays, and I get especially depressed and cynical around the holidays. Partially, it's because I have to run the gauntlet of visiting relatives, but also it's because this time of year gets me thinking about the true meaning of some of these holidays we celebrate in our culture.

If kindergarten taught me anything, it's that Christopher Columbus discovered the earth. Or he invented America. Or maybe it was gravity. Well, in addition to those great accomplishments, he also failed to find a new trade route to India and initiated what would become the genocide of an entire race. That's why every year, on the second Monday in October, we observe this man for giving us an excuse to take off work.

Speaking of reasons why I drink--I mean, October, Halloween is another popular holiday(and a reason I drink). Originally, Halloween was a day of religious cults slaughtering livestock to appease the evil spewed forth from the underworld. In other words, it was pretty cool. Nowadays it means that one night a year, I am expected to buy several townships worth of candy and distribute it to every person who comes to my door wearing a headband with cat ears on it. If I do not oblige these “Trick-or-Treaters(cat people),” by fulfilling my end of this socially accepted norm, they are required, by law, to egg my house. I must then reciprocate by slaughtering a small dog to appease them. They're usually so appeased, they run screaming all the way back to their homes(in the underworld).

After Halloween, it's time to start shopping for a Christmas tree but not presents, because Thanksgiving is coming up, and there's still a whole month until Christmas. It's customary to wait until the night before to go shopping, despite the fact we begin preparing for it at the end of August.

Anyway, Thanksgiving is the commemoration of when the pilgrims invaded the Indian's house, ate all of their food, went through their medecine cabinet, and later killed them. I guess that's basically what we do today, minus the Indians since they're all dead. I guess some holidays retain their original traditions.

Of course, Christmas is not one of those holidays. By some cruel joke of the universe, Christmas embodies all things anti-Christian and is simultaneously regarded as the holiest day of the year next to the super bowl. In reality, Christmas is an amalgamation of traditions steeped in pagan rituals, false gods, and materialism(like the superbowl). You'd actually be hard pressed to find a heathen celebration or blasphemous element to which Christmas isn't connected. Watch. The origin of Christmas to Kevin Bacon in six steps. Go!

Early Roman winter festivals were celebrated with the [1] worship of sun gods, gift giving, and decorating with lights and Yule logs. [2] Yule logs were burned by Scandinavians and vikings to honor Thor, the god of thunder. “Yule” is synonymous with “Christmas,” which is a contraction of “Christ's Mass.” [3] Christ's birthday was decided to be, without any evidence historical, biblical, or otherwise, on December 25. December 25 marks the beginning of what would become “the twelve days of Christmas,” [4] a time of celebrating with lewd and sinful activities. This was especially popular in the middle ages along with the incorporation of ivy and evergreen trees, which were used in winter solstice celebrations for [5] tree worship. The Christmas tree is a mandatory part of the modern Christmas celebration, as is Santa Claus. The myth of Santa Claus encourages the accumulation of material wealth as well as promotes [6] greed, one of the 7 sins. “7” is a number in the title of the upcoming movie “The Magic 7” which will feature [7] Kevin Bacon as himself. Darn, so close.

It's not a "Job" System; it's a "Class" System.

Wow, after a long dry spell, a bunch of new FFXIV videos and pics came up all at once, and speaking of "WoW," I've got to get a few things off my meaty chest:

1. To everyone already screaming "WoW-clone" at FFXIV with excessive use of exclamation points, shut up. WoW did not invent quest experience. So stop toting yourself as some hardcore gamer who won't play FFXIV because it's too casual. It only proves how few games you've actually played. You may as well say FFXIV copied DnD.

2. To everyone already saying FFXIV's casual gameplay is a step backwards compared to FFXI, shut up. FFXI did not advance the MMORPG genre in any way. The only thing unique about it is that it was the first online Final Fantasy game, and maybe the job/subjob system was pretty different from other MMO games. It wasn't genre-defining.

3. To everyone making bold assumptions, rash conclusions, and stating facts otherwise based on logical fallacy about FFXIV, definitely shut up. You have seen a few minutes of Alpha gameplay. ALPHA. You cannot make any accurate predictions, positive or negative, about this game yet. Speculate all you want, but stop being a dick about it.

Okay, that aside, this is the first PS3 game I've seen that has blown my mind, visually. Clearly, out of the PS3, 360, and Wii, the PS3 has always been the graphical powerhouse, but this is the first game where I actually think it's a selling point. The fluidness(definitely not a word) of the gameplay is pretty amazing, and this is only alpha.

Still can't comment much on the actual combat. Obviously, there are some similarities to FFXI and some differences. The HP, MP, and TP bars are still around, though TP seems to function differently. Seems the lock-on and auto-attack are still part of combat, but it looks like there's home kind of hotkey spread at the bottom of the screen in the video. I'm thinking this, along with the very high amount of TP shown in the video, may imply that weapon skill type abilities will play a much larger role in combat than they did in FFXI.

The best news for me has been this:






























I mentioned some concerns in my last post that this whole lack of a defining job system might mean everyone was basically going to be a Warrior with a different weapon, as far as melee go. Mostly, I was actually worried that there would be no Monks. Monk is one of my favorite jobs in FFXI(though my main is actually Dragoon), and I was hoping they'd make a return. It seems they will in some form, at least. SE is still hush-hush on the details of how this "class system" will work. In a way, it kind of is like everyone is a Warrior with a different weapon. They keep saying there are no "jobs," par se; it's all in how one trains his skills and equips himself.

The most sense I can make out of all it is that if you use hand-to-hand weapons, learn hand-to-hand skills, wear armour that augments and aids said style of combat, you are, essentially, a Monk, but you won't be called that. We're all just "people," apparently. It's like SE is trying really hard to not be racist so they're just generalizing all the jobs. I'm all for seeing how this turns out, though, no matter how convoluted it seems right now.

P.S. - If you've not checked the FFXIV official site recently, do so. It's been updated.

It all began with a stone...

... and several nations previously at war but who are now in an unspoken truce due to the invention of "airbourne battleships." Okay, I threw the "stone" part in myself, but according to the latest news at 1UP, the basic plot of FFXIV is sounding a lot like FFXI.

This news hit the internet highway a couple days ago, but I've not been able to formulate an opinion. I try to not have an opinion and base reactions only on facts, but it's difficult to do that when one is so underwhelmed.

Paraphrasing from the 1UP article, there are four "job skills" in FFXI: Fighter, Sorcerer, Gatherer, and Crafter, all of which will grow depending on one's equipment. I guess if you have weapons equipped, you'll be training your Fighter skills, if you have some kind of tool equipped, you'll be training your crafting skill, etc., etc.. I'm hoping it only sounds dull now because of how little information is available. I also hope that equipping different weapons will, essentially, change your class. If you equip knuckles, you're a Monk, a Polearm, a Dragoon, and so on. I'll be seriously pissed if the intent is for everyone to be a Warrior with the only difference being the weapon one has currently in use. Hopefully, I'm way off the mark. Still, I'm apprehensive to learn how this will work out, but this isn't much to go on at the moment. So let's focus on something more concrete.

Eorzea will be the starter continent with several islands surrounding it. Cool, sounds like a big world. The five races have pretty much been confirmed: Hyuran(Hyrulian), Miqo'te(Misquito), Lalafell(Lala, fell), Elezen(Eleven), Roegadyn(Rose Garden). All, respectively, correspond to Hume, Mithra, Tarutaru, Elvan, and Galka from FFXI. You can see scans of them in this thread on ZAM.

Better still, all the races will be fully customizable. Hyuran will also be split into "midlanders" and "highlanders," while Miqo'te will be split into "diurnal sunseekers" and "nocturnal moonkeepers," whatever that means. In any case, I'm glad there won't be as many dopplegangers around.

What has me most intrigued, though, is how the quest system will work. It reminds me much of the Tactics Advance games and how mark hunting worked in FFXII. Adventurers will receive work passes from Eorzea's guildmaster to go on quests either solo or with others. Paraphrasing Komoto, he says a certain amount of players will not be needed for specific quests. It'll be up to the players how many people they want to bring. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. Maybe he means that the quest difficulty will scale up or down depending on how many people are present.

All in all, these are interesting ideas with a lot of perplexing vagueness. SE has my attention, but we'll see how long they keep it:



... Okay, I'm all ears.

The Principlesss by Which we are Driven...

If you play FFXI or have played FFXI, you probably know this guy. He's an object of hatred and awe in Vana'diel. This tortuously difficult side-boss is regarded as unkillable. Speculation still runs wild as people try to find some "trick" to beating him. Recently, SE let an interesting comment slip regarding Absolute Virtue.

It seems SE created Absolute Virtue(hereafter, AV) as a screw-you-over-mob. It makes sense since AV was, originally, not a 100% pop after the Jailer of Love's death. He was actually fairly difficult to spawn. SE's description of him as a "bad luck" mob implies that if you were unlucky enough to have him spawn, you should quickly lot on the Jailer drops and get the hell out.

I don't want to read too much into it since there isn't a whole lot of elaboration on the term "bad luck mob," but the pieces seem to fit together. When AV was first defeated, it was through the exploitation of the terrain. At that point, SE said "Good job, but that's not how we want him to be beaten." AV was fixed so the trick could not be used again. Then, little by little, SE cryptically leaked hints(ha) and videos of the DEV team fighting AV and winning, saying he could be beaten in a certain way. Now AV's HP is reduced, he's 100% pop, and he despawns two hours after Jailer of Love spawns. I've also heard Jailer of Love was nerfed.

I'm not sure if those changes are supposed to make AV more beatable, more escapable, or what, but it seems what many players suspected was correct. AV is not legitimately killable and the DEV videos were red herrings. The thing that somewhat derails this theory is the matter that AV has a death speech and that the title of "Virtuous Saint" is given to those who beat him. This at least shows that SE considered the possibility of him being beaten. Personally, I think it was an "in case shit happens" plan. SE probably anticipated players using some form of exploitation to beat AV, and they gave him a legit death so that if he were ever beaten, the game wouldn't crash. Hell, in WoW, the first time the king of Tinker Town was killed by the Horde, the server went down. That's what happens when you don't consider all the possibilities.

Anyway, many players are calling "foul" on SE's part. If "bad luck mob" really means "unbeatable," it was a little dickish of SE to kind of lead the playerbase on. I enjoy the mystery of AV; all the unsolved things about Vana'diel are what make FFXI so immersive. However, the way SE patches AV everytime the players find a way to beat him just makes it seem like they're toying with us.

I and I Survived

I finally beat Devil Survivor. I could have beaten it much sooner, but I got really engrossed in Need for Speed: Carbon for awhile.

As far as SMT games go, I maintain that Devil Survivor is top tier, but it suffers from a few unique problems.

First, the music is awful. Rather, the music is boring, and the sound quality is awful. Even the old (Super)Famicon SMT's managed to crank out some creepy, atmospheric tunes. Devil Survivor's music tries to do that, but it lacks a certain emotion that other MegaTen games have. I know I shouldn't expect much from a DS, but still, I've heard better music from other DS games than this.

Second is the undeniable fact that for a Strategy RPG, there really isn't a whole lot of strategy involved. Most MegaTen games are brutally difficult and require strategy, specific abilities, and an intimate knowledge of demons to succeed. Devil Survivor isn't too tough to begin with, excepting a few select battles, and unlike other MegaTen games, all enemies' weaknesses and strengths are visible. You can simply adjust your characters' skills before the fight to suit your needs. It's more a matter of preparation than tactics, and even "preparation" is stretching it. Much of the time, even if an enemy is strong against your attacks you can overcome it with a grind session.

I'm not saying Devil Survivor's illusion of strategy takes away from the fun of the combat. I'm just saying Devil Survivor totes itself as a strategy game and is actually more closely related to a standard RPG.

Last, the plus game is pretty boring. Typically, the purpose of a plus game run in a MegaTen game is two-fold: one, to treat yourself to the luxury of an easier game using the demons that carried over from your last playthrough, and two, to fight an absurdly hard optional boss battle. Devil Survivor is no exception. It's just that in a text-heavy game like this, it's hard to hide the tedium of scrolling through all the dialogue you just saw on your last playthrough, and since your dialogue choices effect what endings become available, you can't just zone out and keep pressing "A."

On that note, there are six different endings. You can get around having to play through six times if you manage to unlock every path in one playthrough, save your game before you make your final decision, and beat your way through the last boss without saving your game again(or dying and having to start from the day before). Then you can just keep resetting until you've beaten the game six times from that point. Keep in mind, you won't unlock specific demons for completing certain endings if you do it that way, and you will have to beat the game at least once to fight the optional boss. Decisions, decisions.

Nonetheless, Devil Survivor has done so much to make the game more fun that you can excuse the tedium in other areas. The Demon Fusion system has been simplified. Now recipes for creating demons can be viewed, and there's no more noise control as you can simply choose what skills you want to be carried over from one demon to the next. The Skill Crack system, allowing you to learn skills directly from demons, makes getting specific abilities less of a hassle, and the Devil Auction, where you can buy demons, makes acquiring demons much easier, albeit a little less exciting.

It may sound dumbed down, but it isn't. Devil Survivor took a complicated system, broke it up into more easily mentally digestible concepts, and made each unique to the game. As long as you're not expecting hardcore strategy from the game, you won't be disappointed.

I thought it was June 31st..,

but that doesn't exist. So it's July 1st.

Here's some more news on FFXIV. http://ffxiv.zam.com/story.html?story=18628

Well, it's more like elaboration on old news... Actually, it's more like reiteration of old news but said more eloquently.

A couple things about it disturbed me, though:

According to Koumoto, battles in FFXIV will involve more thinking and strategy than FFXI. While FFXI was about timing and quick action

I'm all for strategy. I just could have sworn they said the same thing about FFXI, initially. I'm wondering what changed and also if SE is just filling my head with false promises. That concern has more to do with my paranoia than anything. What really bothers me is this:

The keyword is "growth" and FFXIV will be sold as a game that allows improvement without unnecessary hardship. Koumoto references FFXI, saying it is a game that relies too exclusively on defeating enemies over and over to advance, and that FFXIV will bring new avenues of facilitating character growth, such as quests.

It's great that SE is borrowing concepts from other games, but that raised a red WoW flag. I know I shouldn't jump to the WoW-clone conclusion. It's not like that was the first MMORPG to employ quest experience, but SE has cited WoW specifically as a source of inspiration in their last interview.

I'm just worried the atmosphere will no longer feel Final Fantasy. SE has already said that the world FFXIV takes place in will have a very different feel from Vana'diel and they're still throwing around phrases like 'solo play.' I'm glad they're making FFXIV less of a time sink, but the more I hear, the more it sounds like WoW.

Hopefully, it's just my paranoia talking again. That's enough splitting hairs and over analyzing though. The "new" information released hasn't shed enough light on anything to start drawing any real conclusions. So let's move onto another game: Devil Survivor.

I'm not too far into it, and I hate to say this so off the cuff, but it's shaping up to be one of the best MegaTen games thus far. At the very least, it more than lives up to the MegaTen name.

For a handheld game, Devil Survivor throws a lot of things at you. What's amazing is how seamlessly the game eases you into each of them. Digital Devil Saga 1 and 2 were supposed to be the more jRPG traditional games of the MegaTen franchise, making them easier to get into while still maintaining the unique MegaTen difficulty. They succeed, but Devil Survivor improves on the formula even further, combining new concepts with all the familiar elements of the MegaTen series: the press turn system, demon fusion, and skill learning/copying and simplifying them enough so that they aren't overwhelming. Add that to the challenging tactical gameplay and the minimalist yet strangely immersive environment, and it makes for a unique experience. Add a DS to your wishlist along with that PSP I told you to buy.

Geek Stink Breath

Hey, do you like RPGs? No? What are you, popular and good-looking?

Well, if you do like RPGs, first of all, you should get a PSP. Once you have a PSP, you should definitely get Crimson Gem Saga. It's been out for a month now, but I only just got to playing it a few days ago. If you're thinking about buying it, don't wait too long. Atlus games disappear fast.

If you're a fan of Chrono Trigger at all, look into this game. It shares the humor and lightheartedness of Chrono Trigger's characters as well as the uniqueness of its battle system, namely, the ability to perform double and triple techs. The artwork and cutscenes are pretty mind blowing, too.

Another interesting part of the battle system is the Critical Combo System, allowing you to use timed button presses after to critical hits to perform combos. I've not been able to experiment much with this yet. Seems like something that could become extremely useful once mastered but infinitely annoying to learn to do well. More on that another time. I just got Devil Survivor a couple days ago, and I've got to check that out.

Rapture

In case you didn't know, SquareEnix's new super, secret, totally un-Final-Fantasy-related MMORPG is "Final Fantasy XIV." I think they should have chosen a different name for it...

I can tell you two definite things regarding the game from that trailer. 1. That the game is Final Fantasy related. 2. That I will have to buy a PS3 sometime in the near future if I want to play it. SE is hinting at some fairly high-end specs. If that and the trailer are any indication, my typewriter-attached-to-an-etch-a-sketch of a computer will not run the game. I play, mostly, older PC games. The newest PC game I own that I can actually play is Gothic 3. I attempted to play Shin Megami Tensei: Imagine; it wasn't pretty, and I mean that quite literally. Besides, SE has also said the game will only run on the most current OS. That means upgrading to Vista, for me. Pass.

Despite all that, I'm pretty excited about the game. I was an FFXI player for some time(on Titan. Name was "Enrich," if you were at all interested.). Though SquareEnix is only dropping vague information about their upcoming game, I'm very interested in what I'm hearing. Mostly, that FFXIV will be "COMPLETELY DIFFERENT" from FFXI. I guess that means Mithra will be a male dominated race, Galka will be hemaphrodites, Taru-tarus will be gargantuan, Hume males will actually look masculine(if only).

Apparently, leveling up will be a thing of the past. Weapons will be the significant means of improving one's character. When I first heard this, my brain screamed in horror because they tried this once before, and it didn't work out:

When I came to, I considered the possibility of that statement instead meaning we'd learn skills from weapons as in the Tactics games. Then again, they could have just meant outfitting one's character with uber equipment is the way to get stronger. Hm, perplexing. Hey, SE said the FFXIV logo was designed with the "weapons" theme in mind. Let's take a look:

... Well, anyway, color me intrigued.

The final cryptic detail SE has made public is that the game will be far less of a timesink than FFXI. Since FFXI is not going to be discontinued(though you wouldn't know it by observing the overdramatics of most FFXI boards), SE is taking into account that many players may want to play both. Hopefully, in addition to realizing we have only so much time, SE will also realize we have only so much money and will cut the subscription cost of at least one of the games. Something tells me that won't happen. SE has likely created the image of a company concerned about their fanbase because they are in the position to do so, and their generousity doesn't extend as far as they'd like you to think. Sigh, a man can dream.