The World is a Vampire

Wow, long time. Last time I posted was Christmas, huh? Well, with so many other blogs, websites, and wikis covering FFXIV, I was growing bored with merely keeping up with the trickle of information that was coming in. Also, my desktop of eight years finally crapped out on me. I type you this message from my new laptop. I never thought I'd become a massive tool and buy one of these things, yet here I am.

Anyway, with the official website now full of information, many new videos circulating, the beta underway, and the release date(for the PC version) announced, I actually feel out of the loop now. People are talking about the classes, playing the beta, complaining about how the PS3 version won't be released for another six months after the PC version. Seriously, folks, it's never fun when you find out a game you really want to play isn't coming out for a long time, and I know SE were real douches hyping up the PS3 version and saying it would be a simultaneous release with the PC version, but life goes on. As someone who was planning on playing the PS3 version, I'm bummed, too, but there will be other games between now and FFXIV:

Ahem, among other things, of course. To be perfectly blunt, I am in the camp of people who think SE's rather sudden announcement of the PC version release is an attempt to compete for shelf space with Cataclysm. SE has acknowledged World of Warcraft's success and have been saying that Final Fantasy XIV will be competition for WoW. It makes sense; I just have a feeling the PC version is being rushed and will be extremely lacking at first(you know, like Wings of the Goddess was) and I will be glad I waited the extra time to play the PS3 version when it's more of a complete game.

Or in an ironic twist, the game will rock right out of the box, and I will be left whimpering like a puppy and wishing I'd shelled out the extra 200 bucks for a better graphics card for this laptop so I could play it. Maybe then I wouldn't have spilled a glass a water on this thing a mere month after buying it and had to pay 160 dollars to repair it, thus losing the very 200 dollars I wished to save. Yeah, my cup runneth over(Hey, that was a good one.).

Patience is not something I'm normally good with, but with the extra FFXI content, Cataclysm on the way(hopefully), Trauma Team still left to be "XS'd", Rock Band 3 and Fallout: New Vegas coming out this fall, and a Mortal Kombat remake on the horizon, I won't be bored. That's not to mention my backlog, but hey, I should be talking about FFXIV, right?

This game continues to astound me graphically. I know I've been saying this from the beginning, but graphics are not something I usually geek out over. FFXIV is the most visually impressive game I've seen. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. If Final Fantasy is nothing else, it's good looking.

As a non-beta player, it's still hard for me to formulate an opinion on gameplay. All I have to go on are videos and the vague testimonials of the beta players. Combat sounds like a good time, but I haven't heard anything mind blowing. What I've been hoping for with all the emphasis that's being put on the four disciplines is that every job has something to contribute to the fight.

If you look at the official site, you'll see Blacksmith and Miner have the ability to weaken certain types of enemies. I looked through the other classes in the Disciplines of "Land" and "Hand" but didn't see anything similar for them. It may just be that it's too early to post everything about the classes.

It'd be nice if even the crafting classes could at least play a support role in parties. One of the things that always irritated me about FFXI was how out-of-the-way crafting felt. Having to stop to fish to make gil felt like I was putting the really fun things on hold to go play a lame mini-game. Hopefully, the crafting jobs in FFXIV will make me feel more involved in the "main game." How about a Miner weakening an enemies' defense with his pick axe? Why not a Culinarian on the sidelines keeping the other party members fed? Whatever. Anything. Just don't make me feel like I'm taking a time out to go craft.

So far, I've not heard anything of this sort. Seems like combat is still combat and crafting is still crafting. It's just a hell of a lot more convenient since you can switch among the four disciplines on the fly. I guess I'll have to wait for more information to surface. I'm sure everyone is too busy playing the game to write anything about it. I should be so lucky... Damn you, PC gamers!

His real name is "Arty Mori"

So I went to see "Sherlock Holmes" today because I couldn't pass up the chance to see one of the most iconic characters in literature portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., one of my favorite actors. Also, I'm lonely and have nothing else to do on Christmas.

I'll just come out and say straight away that the experience was underwhelming. It's not a bad movie, by any means, but it wasn't really Sherlock Holmes. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law play interesting conceptions of Holmes and Watson, respectively. However, this movie is not a mystery; it's an action flick.

Right from the start the movie is more fast-paced and acrobatic than any previous incarnations seen of Sherlock Holmes in movies or books. Holmes has always been a multi-faceted individual, but in this movie he's practically Batman, while Watson plays a very capable Boy Wonder.

I know Holmes is a master of deductive reasoning, but the previous movies, as well as the books, always had some sort of methodical progression. They showed Holmes actually being a detective. In "Sherlock Holmes," everything is solved through a few forensic television show zoom-ins and then explained afterwards in one breath by Holmes. A couple of times Holmes has these flashback montages of previous scenes in the movie. I'm guessing this is the movies' way of showing Holmes "figuring out" the pieces of the mystery.

As I said, it's all an attempt to make the movie more actiony(yes, I'm going with "actiony."), and it works. It's a decent action flick with some colorful characters and the always entertaining Robert Downey Jr.. If you like action movies, you'll probably like it. If you're a ferocious Sherlock Holmes purist, perhaps you won't.


Dammit, "action-oriented," why didn't I say that?

Not all that Glitters is Gold

Hey! Do you guys remember this thing from FFXI?

Yeah, me neither until this reminded me of it. It's the Tidal Talisman; a modestly useful teleportation necklace that took up yet another space in your inventory for the payoff of being able to teleport between major cities every 40 hours.

I didn't buy it either, but if you're one of the few who did, you know that in addition to the lackluster ingame benefits, you also received a real-life version of the item. I guess so you could cosplay as your avatar. Surely, you wouldn't wear such a thing during everyday events, would you..? WOULD YOU?

SE Company President Yoichi Wada has revealed that we'll be seeing much more micro-transaction items in FFXIV than we did in FFXI. He said, “we soon learnt that there are a lot of people who want that kind of model, so we would like to introduce more pay-as-you-use items into the game."

Excuse me? Where was I when this survey was taken? I'm going to have my people call your people, SE; I've never heard any positive remarks about micro-transaction from the FFXI crowd. I know there are people who like collecting the real-life items, and that's cool and stuff, but I hope the items they make available in FFXIV aren't necessities, not while they're making us pay a monthly fee, anyway.

In other and completely related news, the official site has been updated with several interesting features, not the least of which being Beta signups for PC. I'll be waiting for the PS3 Beta, myself, but if you're computer has the digital balls to run FFXIV, go for it.

The backstory has also been fleshed out:

And then... war were declared... What? They take card games seriously in Japan. That Galka, I mean Roegadyn, lost his Bahamut Zero card in that duel. I'd be pissed, too.

Well, there is a war. During a huge battle, the adventurers(you, me, and everyone we know) come in contact with the "Echo"(the plot), which gives them the power to relive their past experiences. The "Echo" is the major story of FFXIV which will over-arch the many other sub-plots and side-stories in the game. I know it sounds kind of lame when I say it, but check out the site. They say it in that cool Lord of the Rings prose that makes everything sound like an adventure. "Go forth and wash thy car" and all that.

It's News to me

I'm not sure how I'm only hearing about this now, but it's news to me. Electronic Gaming Monthly Magazine is making a comeback. Evidently, this announcement was made back in May. So how did I only hear about it two days ago at The Escapist?

I did a little digging and found that there really isn't much information on this topic... Why the hell not? This is EGM; people were DEVASTATED when publication stopped last January, myself included. Now they're coming back? This is HUGE. EGM was a monolith of iconography in video game magazines. People should be throwing fliers out of airplanes about this.

Well, I'll be buying forty subscriptions once the magazine becomes available again. Now let's talk about a game called Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble. If you own a PSP, you need this game. Hurry up, because it's another Atlus title. As I mentioned once before, Atlus games disappear fast. This isn't the kind of game to which you say, "I'll pick it up in six months when the price goes down." Bad idea. Atlus games typically go up in value because they're only made in limited quantity. Chances are you'll be paying more if you wait.

Kenka Bancho is a tongue-in-cheek, beat-em-up game with a straight-forward plot and addictive gameplay that's deeper than it appears. Few portable games satisfy the criteria of being both engaging and easy to put down once the eight hour car ride, wedding toast, or eulogy ends.

You play a local highschool badass on a class trip to Kyouto. It just so happens forty-seven other badasses from forty-seven other school districts are on the same class trip. You have seven days to... well, do pretty much whatever the hell you want. On my first playthrough, I thought the objective was to simply track down and beat up the other banchos, but that's just one thing you can do. There are different events to unlock, secrets to find, even romances to pursue(if you're a pansy). Plus, there's "Night Out," a co-op mode where you can do special missions with your bancho buddies.

Kenka Bancho doesn't exactly break new ground. The game is pretty simplistic, sometimes too much so. I mean, it's a beat-em-up; it shouldn't be complicated, but I wish combat wasn't so monotonous at times. If you're looking to beat every bancho, you need to collect itinerary. You do that by beating up other tough guys... A LOT. Busting skulls is fun, but if you're looking for someone's specific itinerary and you keep getting the same one, it can get stale. As you level up you learn new fighting moves, most of which are only marginally better than others. It seems the purpose of changing your fighting style is mostly cosmetic, which is a bit gimmicky.

The one truly irritating part of this game is the travel system. You can walk, take the train, catch a bus, or call yourself a taxi("I'm a taxi!" That's one of the game's jokes not mine.), all of which will bring you to different destinations. For whatever reason, the only way you can view the map of Kyouto, and thus figure out where to go and which form of transportation you should use, is to actually board a bus, train, or taxi. Now there are several aspects of this game that are kept "secret," but they're nothing that's going to hinder your progress. There is no right or wrong way to play this game, and finding out all of the possibilities is part of the fun. However, "map" is not something that should be kept mysterious. Time is precious in this game, and wasting it trying to physically find a place to view a map is just needless frustration. So I, personally, wound up drawing my own. Yeah, I'm that badass.

Kenka Bancho is a paradox. It's simple, yet complex; parody, but sincere, and at times it's just downright strange. It's a game made by tough guys, for tough guys. Check it out.

Merry Christmas; Jesus Hates You

There hasn't been much to report, but now we've got a new trailer for FFXIV. It's pretty and all but doesn't explain the details we'd all like to know. However, there's a lot of new info at Eorzeapedia that was compiled from an interview GAME Watch conducted with Hiromichi Tanaka and Nobuaki Komoto.

A minor detail that, personally, struck me was that every starting nation will have it's own prologue. The ship arriving in the trailer above is the prologue for characters who start in Limsa Lominsa. It's a nice extra touch considering how unceramoniously you arrived in Vana'diel no matter what nation you picked.

The above commentary would have made a bit more sense about three months ago. It was part of an entry I meant to post way back when the above trailer was first released. For whatever reason, I saved part of it and just never came back to finish it.

Luckily, everything I said is still true. There hasn't been much to report. It's the reason I've been neglecting to update this thing. I got tired of making sarcastic comments to myself about the miniscule news leaks we've been getting from SE... I'm just kidding; I never get tired of being a sarcastic jerk. I've just been playing a lot of video games and haven't really felt like doing much else. Plus, it's the holidays, and I get especially depressed and cynical around the holidays. Partially, it's because I have to run the gauntlet of visiting relatives, but also it's because this time of year gets me thinking about the true meaning of some of these holidays we celebrate in our culture.

If kindergarten taught me anything, it's that Christopher Columbus discovered the earth. Or he invented America. Or maybe it was gravity. Well, in addition to those great accomplishments, he also failed to find a new trade route to India and initiated what would become the genocide of an entire race. That's why every year, on the second Monday in October, we observe this man for giving us an excuse to take off work.

Speaking of reasons why I drink--I mean, October, Halloween is another popular holiday(and a reason I drink). Originally, Halloween was a day of religious cults slaughtering livestock to appease the evil spewed forth from the underworld. In other words, it was pretty cool. Nowadays it means that one night a year, I am expected to buy several townships worth of candy and distribute it to every person who comes to my door wearing a headband with cat ears on it. If I do not oblige these “Trick-or-Treaters(cat people),” by fulfilling my end of this socially accepted norm, they are required, by law, to egg my house. I must then reciprocate by slaughtering a small dog to appease them. They're usually so appeased, they run screaming all the way back to their homes(in the underworld).

After Halloween, it's time to start shopping for a Christmas tree but not presents, because Thanksgiving is coming up, and there's still a whole month until Christmas. It's customary to wait until the night before to go shopping, despite the fact we begin preparing for it at the end of August.

Anyway, Thanksgiving is the commemoration of when the pilgrims invaded the Indian's house, ate all of their food, went through their medecine cabinet, and later killed them. I guess that's basically what we do today, minus the Indians since they're all dead. I guess some holidays retain their original traditions.

Of course, Christmas is not one of those holidays. By some cruel joke of the universe, Christmas embodies all things anti-Christian and is simultaneously regarded as the holiest day of the year next to the super bowl. In reality, Christmas is an amalgamation of traditions steeped in pagan rituals, false gods, and materialism(like the superbowl). You'd actually be hard pressed to find a heathen celebration or blasphemous element to which Christmas isn't connected. Watch. The origin of Christmas to Kevin Bacon in six steps. Go!

Early Roman winter festivals were celebrated with the [1] worship of sun gods, gift giving, and decorating with lights and Yule logs. [2] Yule logs were burned by Scandinavians and vikings to honor Thor, the god of thunder. “Yule” is synonymous with “Christmas,” which is a contraction of “Christ's Mass.” [3] Christ's birthday was decided to be, without any evidence historical, biblical, or otherwise, on December 25. December 25 marks the beginning of what would become “the twelve days of Christmas,” [4] a time of celebrating with lewd and sinful activities. This was especially popular in the middle ages along with the incorporation of ivy and evergreen trees, which were used in winter solstice celebrations for [5] tree worship. The Christmas tree is a mandatory part of the modern Christmas celebration, as is Santa Claus. The myth of Santa Claus encourages the accumulation of material wealth as well as promotes [6] greed, one of the 7 sins. “7” is a number in the title of the upcoming movie “The Magic 7” which will feature [7] Kevin Bacon as himself. Darn, so close.

It's not a "Job" System; it's a "Class" System.

Wow, after a long dry spell, a bunch of new FFXIV videos and pics came up all at once, and speaking of "WoW," I've got to get a few things off my meaty chest:

1. To everyone already screaming "WoW-clone" at FFXIV with excessive use of exclamation points, shut up. WoW did not invent quest experience. So stop toting yourself as some hardcore gamer who won't play FFXIV because it's too casual. It only proves how few games you've actually played. You may as well say FFXIV copied DnD.

2. To everyone already saying FFXIV's casual gameplay is a step backwards compared to FFXI, shut up. FFXI did not advance the MMORPG genre in any way. The only thing unique about it is that it was the first online Final Fantasy game, and maybe the job/subjob system was pretty different from other MMO games. It wasn't genre-defining.

3. To everyone making bold assumptions, rash conclusions, and stating facts otherwise based on logical fallacy about FFXIV, definitely shut up. You have seen a few minutes of Alpha gameplay. ALPHA. You cannot make any accurate predictions, positive or negative, about this game yet. Speculate all you want, but stop being a dick about it.

Okay, that aside, this is the first PS3 game I've seen that has blown my mind, visually. Clearly, out of the PS3, 360, and Wii, the PS3 has always been the graphical powerhouse, but this is the first game where I actually think it's a selling point. The fluidness(definitely not a word) of the gameplay is pretty amazing, and this is only alpha.

Still can't comment much on the actual combat. Obviously, there are some similarities to FFXI and some differences. The HP, MP, and TP bars are still around, though TP seems to function differently. Seems the lock-on and auto-attack are still part of combat, but it looks like there's home kind of hotkey spread at the bottom of the screen in the video. I'm thinking this, along with the very high amount of TP shown in the video, may imply that weapon skill type abilities will play a much larger role in combat than they did in FFXI.

The best news for me has been this:






























I mentioned some concerns in my last post that this whole lack of a defining job system might mean everyone was basically going to be a Warrior with a different weapon, as far as melee go. Mostly, I was actually worried that there would be no Monks. Monk is one of my favorite jobs in FFXI(though my main is actually Dragoon), and I was hoping they'd make a return. It seems they will in some form, at least. SE is still hush-hush on the details of how this "class system" will work. In a way, it kind of is like everyone is a Warrior with a different weapon. They keep saying there are no "jobs," par se; it's all in how one trains his skills and equips himself.

The most sense I can make out of all it is that if you use hand-to-hand weapons, learn hand-to-hand skills, wear armour that augments and aids said style of combat, you are, essentially, a Monk, but you won't be called that. We're all just "people," apparently. It's like SE is trying really hard to not be racist so they're just generalizing all the jobs. I'm all for seeing how this turns out, though, no matter how convoluted it seems right now.

P.S. - If you've not checked the FFXIV official site recently, do so. It's been updated.

It all began with a stone...

... and several nations previously at war but who are now in an unspoken truce due to the invention of "airbourne battleships." Okay, I threw the "stone" part in myself, but according to the latest news at 1UP, the basic plot of FFXIV is sounding a lot like FFXI.

This news hit the internet highway a couple days ago, but I've not been able to formulate an opinion. I try to not have an opinion and base reactions only on facts, but it's difficult to do that when one is so underwhelmed.

Paraphrasing from the 1UP article, there are four "job skills" in FFXI: Fighter, Sorcerer, Gatherer, and Crafter, all of which will grow depending on one's equipment. I guess if you have weapons equipped, you'll be training your Fighter skills, if you have some kind of tool equipped, you'll be training your crafting skill, etc., etc.. I'm hoping it only sounds dull now because of how little information is available. I also hope that equipping different weapons will, essentially, change your class. If you equip knuckles, you're a Monk, a Polearm, a Dragoon, and so on. I'll be seriously pissed if the intent is for everyone to be a Warrior with the only difference being the weapon one has currently in use. Hopefully, I'm way off the mark. Still, I'm apprehensive to learn how this will work out, but this isn't much to go on at the moment. So let's focus on something more concrete.

Eorzea will be the starter continent with several islands surrounding it. Cool, sounds like a big world. The five races have pretty much been confirmed: Hyuran(Hyrulian), Miqo'te(Misquito), Lalafell(Lala, fell), Elezen(Eleven), Roegadyn(Rose Garden). All, respectively, correspond to Hume, Mithra, Tarutaru, Elvan, and Galka from FFXI. You can see scans of them in this thread on ZAM.

Better still, all the races will be fully customizable. Hyuran will also be split into "midlanders" and "highlanders," while Miqo'te will be split into "diurnal sunseekers" and "nocturnal moonkeepers," whatever that means. In any case, I'm glad there won't be as many dopplegangers around.

What has me most intrigued, though, is how the quest system will work. It reminds me much of the Tactics Advance games and how mark hunting worked in FFXII. Adventurers will receive work passes from Eorzea's guildmaster to go on quests either solo or with others. Paraphrasing Komoto, he says a certain amount of players will not be needed for specific quests. It'll be up to the players how many people they want to bring. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. Maybe he means that the quest difficulty will scale up or down depending on how many people are present.

All in all, these are interesting ideas with a lot of perplexing vagueness. SE has my attention, but we'll see how long they keep it:



... Okay, I'm all ears.